Through the Eyes of a 20-year-old American Accustomed to the College Way of Dating

I am now into my third week of classes, so I feel I can explain a little more on the Omani culture, which I've been dying to share with y'all.

First of all, I came into Oman having one basis for comparison: Cairo.

I should have thrown that out of the window the first day.

In American terms, Cairo is the equivalent of New York -- restaurants around every corner, everything within walking distance. Muscat is about like Dallas, wonderful, clean, but very spreadout. Cairo is a giant ball of energy; there is always someone yelling beside you, a bike zooming past you, or a guy whistling at you hoping to make eye contact (this is not to say that I miss that). In Muscat, people are very polite, calm, and easy-going. There's nothing to be angry about here. The economy is good, your neighbors are nice, and the terms Sunni and Shi'a are virtually irrelevant (most are Ibadi anyway).

I came to Muscat after being in New York for 9 days. Not long, but enough to light a fire under me and speed up my pace. That being said, my first impression of Oman was not all that great. Many of the women here are very conservative in their actions. This may seem obvious, but for me it was a little more of an adjustment. For example, it's not all that common for women to go out at night. And, if a woman is by herself at all, this is very strange. Smoking sheesha (hooka) is pretty widely prohibited in conservative families, and personal interaction between genders is not common. Women don't shake men's hands unless approached by the man first. And, as I figured out the hard way, it's not appropriate to ask a man his age, because it makes you seem interested (I can see that happening in American culture as well).

So, that's the facade at least. A little exploration has led to a world of questions. There is an obvious difference between youth that has studied in Western cultures, like the UK or America, and their purely Omani counterparts, that have not left the country for school. I'm lucky to have made a few friends in both situations. A guy friend that studied in the UK will open up about typical college pressures and the dating scene in Oman, which is something I'm dying to know more about.

Our teachers or more conservative peer facilitators tell us that the father of the family chooses a suitor for his daughter, and she either accepts or rejects the guy (in theory). What happens more often is that rejection is not too common, and the daughter must try to remain close to her father growing up so that he chooses an acceptable suitor. The two families will usually have outings together so the young ones will (hopefully) get to know each other and like each other.

My guy friend, on the other hand, took us to dinner one night at a cafe on Sharea'a Al Hob, which literally means 'love street.' He joked and said, "This is where you bring dates." I don't know if too many 'dates' occur there, but its definitely a hot spot for young adults at night.

*Side note: The gulf/Emirates' way of showing of money is in ridiculous cars. Oman doesn't even have a public transportation system, but does have Aston Martin and Porshe dealerships.*

So, the young males zoom down this straight road, which is actually a bridge over some marshland leading into the gulf, revving their Lamborghinis, Range Rovers, Jaguars, and Rolls Royces (no joke).  Lexuses and BMWs are also common, but only the extremely tricked-out kind. This is all very funny to watch, because the ultimate contradiction is personified: the technology behind cars and BBM contrasted with the traditional dress of the dishdasha (white nightie) and kumma (little hand-woven cap) or turban.

And, following their gender roles, the girls go out in groups in beautifully Swarovski-Crystal embellished abiyas (the black cloak) and matching hijabs (scarf around the head). Their make up reminds me slightly of Lady Gaga... bright pink matte lipstick, thick black eyeliner winged to the sides of their cheeks, and mean but perfectly trimmed and defined brows that could kill someone.

And, that's about it. No interaction, no body language. No small talk, no pick-up lines. No sharing sheesha, no giggling.

It baffles me.

I'm still waiting to figure out exactly what an Omani date is, if they even occur.